The weather is turning colder, well based on my body temperature standards from the last 35 years it is. It was in the forties this morning and the wind had a bit of a chill to it all day. My phones weather app says it will get to forty-eight by eight o’clock. That is winter temperatures for this boy. Well, with all joking aside, that is pretty much a South Florida winter but I must admit, it does feel good. The gradual lowering of the thermometer is easing the change and this makes the acclamation to the weather not bad. Hope I can still say that in a few months.

A couple of weeks ago the local paper said the change of the leaves this year should be spectacular. It has to do with the amount of rainfall being less than usual this year. I am looking forward to the changing colors. I hope to be able to capture some good photos. From talk I’ve heard, the change in the leaves also brings out the tourist. It is called “Leaf Season.” This beautiful living changing tapestry will usher in the winter.

There is a little irony in my developing love of photography and the pictures I choose to take. I have a red-green colorblindness and it does give my wife and I a laugh at times. No one knew I was colorblind until I was in middle school (called junior high back in the day). The way it was discovered was in a science class. We were doing a section about color perception and there were the circles, you know the kind that had what seemed to be hundreds of tiny different colored dots. In the circle was a number that you could see if your color vision was working correctly. Well, guess who could not see the number that indicated a red-green colorblindness? Yep, it was me. This just added to my confusion of my self-identity, self consciousness and contributed to me feeling even more out-of-place and different. On a funny note, when someone found out I was colorblind they would often ask, “What color is the Grass?” Now at one level I understood what they were asking but on another I could not help but answer the “question” they ask with the reply, “Green.” I mean, after all, I was colorblind, not stupid.

I see that I just took one of the side paths on the trail. I am learning that this can involve risk when in the woods. I do need to work on focus, so back on track.

I grew up in Kentucky where we had four distinct seasons. We also had some pretty rough winters. By the time I moved to Florida I was done with winter, done with snow and done with cold. Now, I am ready to experience it again. Just as the cold of Kentucky took a toll on me, the heat of South Florida has done the same.

I remember the first time Saskia and I took our kids to Kentucky. We went so they could meet their grandmother. It was winter and there was a good amount of snow on the ground. We took the kids out to play. We showed them how to make snow angels. Our youngest, Nick, got some snow down the collar of his coat. He asked with complete sincerity, “Is this Florida?” We told him no and he said, again with complete sincerity, “I want to go back to Florida.” He was not impressed with the snow. To this day he still likes the warm weather of Florida.

My mother has since passed and the children are now all grown. My mom had her issues, but like the rest of us, she did her best. As I look back on the expectations and assumptions I placed on myself and others, the unrealistic demands and the constant negativity I chose to see in life, I am humbled; humbled by this process called life and its ability to forgive and forget.

A few months ago I was trying to remember something about one of my relatives. As I puzzled over it the thought popped into my head, “Call mom she will know.” This was immediately followed with, “Oh! I can’t do that, she’s no longer here.” As I get older I am learning to take nothing for grant. Each experience, each moment in time, each touch and sound are all new and are all passing. Each one has never been before and will never be again. And as I understand this now, I see that I have grown to know the value of the person I am from heartbeat to heartbeat. I have grown to know the value of us all. I believe I am finding the questions to the three questions I have searched for over the years.

So, sitting on the porch enjoying a cup of coffee and the cool weather I remember the past, think of the future and live the moment.